Sunday, February 6, 2011

Cabin fever

The rhythm of daily life is fairly consistent.  The mundane is what glues the world together during the infrequent highs and lows.  Mostly I am comfortable with the mundane - waking just before the alarm in the morning, listening to my dog stretch out and yawn at the top of the stairs, hearing the trash truck rumble down the street, turning on the kettle for a cup of coffee, opening the blinds and watching the world outside start to waken and move about. The routines of the morning - of the entire day - keep me on task, keep me moving toward the time when I can settle down after work and just have a few minutes to sit.  In difficult times, routines really save me.  Some things just have to get done no matter what's happening, no matter how crummy you feel.
This winter has been strange with regard to loneliness.  The routines keep me plugging away, but the "settle down" time at the end of the day has become increasingly lonely. The house, the phone and my social life are too quiet. I have decided to chalk it up to cabin fever, winter storms and not enough physical activity.  It's hard to take the dog for a walk when there are mountains of snow on all sides.  I'm all for taking up a challenge, but I don't want to be found in the spring thaw curled up around my dog in a muddy puddle. 
Solitude is a gift - the quiet a comfortable embrace. Loneliness is an unwelcome visitor.  It gives me too much time to get stuck in my head and begin to create things to fret about.  I need to get out of my head, out of my house and out of a routine that, while helpful, feels a little stagnant.
Can't wait for spring... and lilacs and bright yellow-green new leaves on the trees and yes, even spring cleaning. 


Around the Corner by Andrew Wyeth
                                                  

3 comments:

  1. Ugh, you NAILED it. While I have settled into my community, my town, my life and no longer feel the constant desire to move away, when the gray and snow goes on for months, I have a strong desire to run far far away. xo. Spring will be here soon (I hope).

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  2. Awww....you write it so well...and you leave a light on at the end of the tunnel! I love you!

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